I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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