You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
