don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
