You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
