I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
