I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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