i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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