I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
