good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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