So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
