You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
