My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
