Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
As shirtless as possible
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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