Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
