So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
