she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
