My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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