Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
