3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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