i would punch a child for taco bell
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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