Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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