I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
