My hand turned me down
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
