dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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