on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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