just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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