toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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