he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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