worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
