garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
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