It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
