help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
