either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
