dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
