"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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