we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
