This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
