why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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