I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
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