he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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