Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
