garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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