I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize