3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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