He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
