I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
