i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
