The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
