He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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