Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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