What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
