I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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