I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize