Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
