Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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