life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize