I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize