Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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