We won't sleep together?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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