even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
This toilet bowl is my home.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
