We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
