So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
